My Achy Swollen Back Again……

Yesterday I was hoping I would feel better, but I don’t my back is killing me. Everything is swollen. I took something to help and its done me no good, atleast it feels that way. Its proably the lupus causing a bunch of inflammation. I can’t stand anything cold on me so heat is the only option I have. My old heating pad has had more miles then me proably- LOL. Some people can take anti inflammatories, but I can’t because of allergies or crazy reactions. One medication I took I felt like I had morning sickness all the time. The doctor couldn’t believe I was having such a bad reaction to the medication. Needless to say I am really sensetive to a  lot of medications. When I start a new medication I always hold my breath because I never know how my body is going to react. Well I guess I’m off my rant for now….. Until next time

The Word of the Week is Frustration

The word of the week is frustration. Frustration is something I live with each and every day. Lupus kind of makes things go this way. . There are days where the only thing that keeps me going is my family. It’s the smiling faces of my family or the silly things that my dogs do. My male dog Mason was barking at his retractable leash one day. We had put the leash on the ground pole of our porch and every time he moved it made a whine noise. It was really funny watching him bark at the leash for no reason. You see he tries to act like he is tough. In reality he is just a big baby.

Sometimes the frustration can be more than I can bear. It makes me want to lose my mind sometimes. It’s the wishing that I had my energy back and my life back. Once upon a time I worked as a CNA. Ya, it was a dirty job, but it was a job that I really loved. I was able to take care of others and it made me feel useful. I was doing for them what I would want to do for myself. It’s hard to be in there shoes in some aspects. It upsets me when people complain about there jobs because really they don’t know what they really do have. So my advice to all you that hate your jobs either get yourself a different job or be quiet. I’m sorry I am so blunt about it, but I feel very strong about it.  

What is frustrating about living with a chronic illness to you? Share your story here. I will chose my favorite and write a post linking that persons blog in my post entry. So Share your frustrations here….

Dear Mr Energy Monster

You entered my life over 7 years ago. You took away my youthful energy. You made simple things like cooking a meal difficult. They feel more like I’m running a marathon. You can leave anytime. I did not ask for you, nor did my family. You can leave me and find another home and that does not include me or anyone else. I have asked myself over and over why you came to visit me. I still don’t have the, answer to that question and if you would kindly come forward I have a few things to tell you. You’ve invaded my life like the bad sinus headache and that’s saying it mildly. I will be glad to release you anytime you can take your no good butt and leave me alone.

Not Sincerely Yours,

Chronic Chick

Random concerns of a lupie

This weekend is almost over and it seems like it just started. Before long I will be starting school for my daughter. Its pretty scary were jumping into homeschooling her for the first year. She’ll be a freshman. It will be nice to have her around, but its pretty scary to me. She’s a pretty good student so I hope it continues as at home. It was a difficult decsion to make especially dealing with my sickness from day to day. If she wasn’t a motivated learning I thnk I would think twice, but luckly she is. The school in our area has a lot of problems.

My aches and pains have got the most of me today. I’ve felt like an 80 year old woman not able to move without my body feeling like its in traction. I miss my old body and my old abilty to function like normal, whatever that means. My shoulders ache and my legs are so sore. Sometimes my aches and pains get the most of me. Sometimes the only thing that keeps me going is tommorow is going to be better. Wednesday I have to have surgery to remove a cyst and it scares the hell out of me. I’m tring to be brave,but its easier said then done. Its a first time for me and I’m  tring to not focus on it at all.

A lupies life is full doing too much !

Today was busy for me. Now I am paying for it by feeling like I’ve been hit by a mack truck that came strolling by in all its glory. I hate when I feel this way. I’ll probably be nursing my ouch’s for the next few days. You know us lupies know just how  to overdue things. I hope it don’t last long. I’m not looking forward to the transition into fall this year because I have gone into major flares since my life with lupus and its side dishes. Ya I know its a small entry for me, but I felt inclined to share with you all.

Girl with Lupus Dies After DCF Takes Her From Parents

I was blog hopping to my friend Michelle and learned of the death of a 16 year old girl with lupus dies. DCF took her away because she wanted to try different medications for treatment. It horrifies me that DCF would take away a child from her home while she fights for her life. Chelsey Cruz wanted to try something that may not give her the horrible side effects of medications taken by lupus patients.

In my opinion this girl was more of an adult then any one else. It maddens me that a child so sick could be yanked out her home because of disagreement of medications. I know myself that I don’t always agree with the treatment doctors prescribe. I have had to reduce medications or refuse to take medications because of side effects. This girl is more of an adult then many adults now a day. When someone has dealt with a chronic illness such as lupus they should be able to make medication choices. I’m sorry but if it’s my body I will chose what I take in.

I pray for the family and friends of Chelsey Cruz. I pray that the family will find some healing after the death.

Links to Story

Mother’s Rage Lives On

Girl in Medical Dispute Dies

Cruz Letter 

Walk A Mile In My Foot Steps Then Tell Me How it Feels……. ( my thoughts).

Where Did My Energy GO?

The lupus had me totally wore out. I am so lacking in energy, wheeling across the floor makes me feel like crap. I hate what this illness has done to my body. I want to do so many things. Well lupus has a mind of its own. Just using the computer wears me out. It zaps what energy I do have out of me. I have tried to eat just about anything to boost my energy level. I’ve tried chocolate, caffeine, protein and carbs. It does not help at all. I will be glad when this flare passes. I am grateful to be able to type this tonight, but man this is so tiresome. I feel more like I’ve walked a marathon then wheeled across the room just to type this up. I pray God will release the devil in me and many others called lupus. It sure does suck. I feel like every breath has been taken away from me. I don’t know why this illness does this to me. I want a few good days. I am really hating winter and the transition to spring. God give me strength.

Starting This Site While Dealing with Lupus

I’ve been trying to set up this site for about a week and parts of is very frustrating. I have found setting up this site to be mind boggling. The site is coming along, but I need to do a lot more work on the site. I want my message board to have a link back to my home page and it’s turned out to be more of a chore, then I would expect. I know with some persistence and when my lupus will cooperate I will be able to get this site exactly where I want it, meanwhile I’m working on this site and my starter site over at http://chronic-chick.blogspot.com/. I am working to improve my site over here too. Maybe too much for me, but I’m determined to get this site up.