Leave me the hell alone

Take the pain with you when you leave

You seem to think you have an open door

But no one asked you to come and visit me

My family didn’t ask you to come

You wouldn’t hurt my feeling if you left

What more can I say leave me the hell alone

No one wants you

Why would you want to stay around when you’re not wanted by me or mine?

Lupus, Lupus Runaway

It’s hard to hold on sometimes
Other times you’re climbing a cliff
At times, it seems that cliff never ends

The times your spinning are the hardest
Those times it feel like things never end
The more you try the more you spin
Those times you feel like your out of control

The times when things are going along straight
Things going along straight don’t seem real
Your waiting for the floor to fall out from under you

Then the times you feel like their is no way out
Those are the times you want to run
But your feet just don’t move
It’s like your feet are stuck in cement

When the rollercoaster stops
You want it to move
But it just stays in one place
No matter how hard you try

Where is your rollercoaster rolling?

The most precious gift :
The love of my daughter
The love of a daughter doesn’t cost one red cent to me.
It’s the kind of love a mother never forgets

The small things I’ve learned to love are:
Flowers growing in my small, but mighty garden
The sounds of birds laying a nest on my awning
Hummingbirds drinking sugar water from my bird feeder
Dogs chasing each other through the house.
My male dog sneaking up on the female dog to tell her off
My family that loves me uncondtionally

What I’m thankful for the most:
Having life and being able to breathe even on those days I’m in so much pain.
On those days I have to remind myself it’ll pass and repeat the sernity prayer.

Its as real as I can feel it.

It affects me inside and out.

Each day I have to live with it.

Its so real inside me.

I don’t wish it on anyone

I have learned to live with it.

Day after Day.

Month after month

Year after year.

Its not been by choice.

I did not ask for it.

Sometimes it angers me.

Other times it grounds me.

It makes me appreciate the small things in life.

Other times it makes me sad.

Its something I don’t wish on anyone.

Its hard to explain to someone appreciate what you have.

Not living with it you cannot understand.

The only thing I can say is I miss the life without pain.

Now, those momments of no pain I wonder where it is.

Its crazy to feel this way, but I do.

My pain is real and so is my feelings from it.

Feeling the pain day after day is like a long lesson in life.

Appreciate the small things in life.

A smile brings joy to my heart each day.

We all get older each and every second of the day

A week has passed and what have your accomplished?

I can say this week I have accomplished a thing or two.

Its not been an easy week with struggles with illness.

And struggles with a beautiful daughter I chose to home school.

Its been strugles with life and struggles with pets.

But I’m thankful for these struggles right now.

Because I have life.

So today think about all your struggles as a blessing rather then a curse.

Some Days they feel like a curse, but at this moment I welcome them.

Thanks for stopping by and I send you a………………

Its as real as I breathe.

Each day I struggle with it each day.

And the worst part is others see me struggle with it.

Some days are easier then others.

Pain does not give you a choice.

Its something I live with.

Its become a part of who I am.

It does not discriminate.

I did not ask for this pain.

But it is real as I can feel.

The pain is never gone because it lives within me

I try to stay strong about it.

But its not easy to do.

I do not wish it on anyone.

My pain is real and not an illusion.

Many chose to deny it.

I have to remember that I do not have to prove it.

I know what I feel and its a deep pain from within

Many live with the same pain.

And I pray they will be free of it.

Because no one should live in pain.