October 2nd, 2009
Our tomatoes didn’t grow very well this year. They were mushy on the outside, but not ripe on the inside. I cannot figure out why the crop did so badly this year. It’s hard enough planting the tomatoes having a chronic illness without the tomatoes tasting like hot house. It’s something I really enjoy so it was a huge disappointment. I need to figure out what I can do to have better success with my tomatoes in the pot. I did notice a lot of spider webs on the plants all the time. When I found them I would knock them off, but the spider didn’t quite spinning their webs. I did get bit by a spider so it made me gun shy.
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November 14th, 2008
I have been really feeling bad. I’ve had a migraine for 3 day and I feel like I’ve been hit by the local train station ran me over. I am still feeling pretty bad. I am forcing myself to do a couple of posts. Sometimes it helps to get your mind off the pain. I hate being in pain everyday. We are suppose to have some snow tommorow. I am not looking forward to snow. It always makes me achy all over. I hope this flare and migraine passess soon. Happy Weekend to Everyone…. I hope I feel better soon because Flares SUCK. I can say that in all caps because their is no other way to explain them…
Filed under Life with Lupus, Lupus Rant | Comments (8)
November 9th, 2008
Taking CPR classes was part of my Certified Nursing Assistant classes. I was really nervous the first time I took the classes. Our CPR classes were for adult, children, and infant CPR. The CPR class is different depending on who needs the CPR. I think it’s very important that everyone who can take CPR classes does. Now you can take CPR classes for pets too. Some years they change how to do the CPR. I was watching on TV that they have a way to do CPR without doing the mouth to mouth resuscitation. Now you can take ACLS Online instead of going somewhere else to take classes. This makes it easier for someone who is busy, but wants to take the class. You can even train to teach other people CPR. I have been in the situation of having to help when someone has gone into a code blue. That is when someone needs to have CPR because they have stopped breathing and their heart has stopped. If someone has just stopped breathing you give them rescue breaths. It can be pretty overwhelming doing CPR. The most important thing is to stay calm and this easier said then done. You can get your acls certification online in your home. This makes it possible for most people to learn CPR.
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November 4th, 2008
This morning I woke up to a tractor digging in the yard next door. It was really annoying. I had a rough night last night because my daughter had a wild imagination. So she was up and down last night. So today I am paying for it. I feel so warn out, but the sad thing is if I went to bed I could not sleep at all. Its crazy how that works. Sleep loss and chronic illness don’t go well together. I hope tonight she won’t start walking the floors again. She’s high anxiety and gets test anxiety and totally upset from the smallest things. I’ve been teaching her to take some deep breaths and ask herself if how she’s reacting is realistic or not. I hope this helps her deal with the anxiety. I have my fingers crossed it does help.
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November 4th, 2008
One of my favorite songs is Beauty from Pain. Its a song by Super Chicks. It speaks such powerful words for someone living with a chronic illness. This particular song speaks multitudes for those living with pain. It shows its message that you can find beauty from the pain you feeling living with any kind of pain. I came across this song on a message board. It shares some powerful words.
You can view the lyrics to this song here. Here’s a link to the actual song.
Beauty From Pain”
The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know i’m alive but i feel like i’ve died
And all that’s left is to accept that it’s over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that i made
I try to keep warm but i just grow colder
I feel like i’m slipping away
After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i’ve cried my last, there’ll be beauty from pain
Though it won’t be today,
Someday i’ll hope again
And there’ll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain
My whole world is the pain inside me
The best i can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I’ll wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though i can’t understand why this happened
I know that i will when i look back someday
And see how you’ve brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames
After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i’ve cried my last, there’ll be beauty from pain
Though it won’t be today,
Someday i’ll hope again
And there’ll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain
Here i am, at the end of me
Tryin to hold to what i can’t see
I forgot how to hope
This night’s been so long
I cling to Your promise
There will be a dawn
After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i’ve cried my last, there’ll be beauty from pain
Though it won’t be today,
Someday i’ll hope again
And there’ll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain
Do you know of a song that explains the pain you feel from living with your chronic illness?
Please share it with me and the other readers.
Music Lyric Source: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/superchick/beautyfrompain.html
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October 29th, 2008
Tuesday, I went to get my flu shot. I hate shots so much. I guess after being poked and proded so much you get sick of needles. I am glad that its over, but I still have to get my pneumonia vaccine. When your immune system is messed up by lupus and its side dishes. Its a damned if you do or damned if you don’t. I get my flu shot each year because I don’t want to get the flu and end up in the hospital. I am also asthmatic as well. I’ve already had pneumonia and bronchiolitis in the past and I don’t want to repeat it. Last year I did get sick, but a lot of times if I don’t get my flu shot I’m sick all the time in the winter
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October 24th, 2008
Before long it will be Christmas will be here again. That means Christmas Shopping for a lot of people. A lot of people are thinking how can I afford it this year. One of the most painful things about living with a chronic illness is our endurance. We get so wore out from doing simple things such as walking or even just staying awake. This year instead of fighting the crowds in the stores shop online for Christmas. The day after Thanksgiving is blackfriday and the stores will be having great sales on a lot of items. I know this year I am going to check out Black Friday online. There is no way I am going to fight the madness at the stores. Yes I’ve thought about it, but in reality who wants to fight the craziness of people running over each just save a buck when you can shop online for all sorts of items. This year on Black Friday I am going to have buy some books. I am crazy about books. I can’t get enough of reading a lot of things. Most people don’t know that. I’ve been known to read some books I really like more then once. I know it sounds crazy, but a girls got her qualms. Alibris is one of favorite book stores because you can get some great deal over there and a large selection of books.
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October 19th, 2008
A lot of people with chronic illnesses have issues with their self esteem. You feel like your worthless and no one would want you. Your whole outlook on life totally changes when your body doesn’t act the same way it use to work. I know my feeling of self worth went down thanks to living with lupus. Part of the reason my self worth went down is because I put on about twenty pounds from the medications and inactivity from the pain. It does something to someone when they are diagnosed with a chronic illness. You forget that there is more to you then your chronic illness. I know myself in a lot of ways I have let myself go a lot. I am in the process of trying to improve my self worth and self esteem so I bought some Rembrandt teeth whitener and some red lipstick. I am working on getting my teeth whiter first and gave myself the red lipstick as a gift. A white smile looks better with white teeth then yellow teeth. It’s amazing how quick getting your teeth white helps your self esteem and self worth. It makes it easier to look in the mirror while getting ready in the morning. It makes you feel more human inside and out. This
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