Self Esteem Boost for Chronic Illness

A new pair of eyeglasses is a perfect way to feel special about yourself especially when you’re feeling down and out. It’s a perfect icemaker for anyone who has a hard time starting conversation with strangers. If I was purchasing a pair I’d pick a pair with a little bit of etching on the sides since I don’t like to draw too much attention to myself, especially when I’m not feeling very well during a lupus or fibromyagia flare.

It is one way to feel good about myself when I’m feeling down and out with the pain and fatigue of living with lupus and chronic pain. A little color goes a long way to make you feel better on a bad day. I’d choose a pair that has a little color without overdoing it.

I would wear my new glasses with my crocheted Valentine’s Day hat I’m making right now. Zenni Optical has a pair for only $9.95 that includes anti-scratch coating, UV protection, a case, and cleaning cloth. I really like the glasses with a roses etching on both sides. I could buy a pair of glasses for every month for less than I paid for one pair at retail optical.

Lupus is My Life Poem

Living with lupus is full of ups and downs.

I’ve learned their are two ways to look at it.

Good and Bad……

I’d love to say that it’s easy…..

But it’s not………

Each day is a battle to think positive…..

I still have my negative days, but I refuse to give in…..

I still spend hours or days on the sofa dealing with lupus and fibromyalgia…

But I have more control over things…..

I’m more aware of what’s going on inside…..

I’m better prepared for lupus’ ups and downs…..

So I’m ready for the good and bad days……

Lupus may be my life, but it’s only part of my life….

Not running my life anymore……..

How is your life with lupus or fibromyaliga doing??

Are You on Stage with You’re Chronic Illness?

By Chronic Chick

Do you feel like you’re on stage while living with your chronic illness? I feel that way a lot because people don’t understand that my strength and abilities go up and down hourly. One day I may be able to clean the house and the next day I’m lucky to be able to get out of bed. It plain sucks, but it’s my life. I’ve lived with it nearly a decade so it has become the norm for me.
Since I’ve lived with lupus and fibromyalgia some days I’m in my wheelchair and other days I’m able to walk around. I used to feel very subconscious knowing what people were saying and thinking about me. I heard- I was faking how much pain I was in or she doesn’t look sick, or it cannot be that bad. I could go on about the snide remarks.

All of these nasty comments made me feel like I needed to act a certain way. And it stinks how other people’s thoughts make you feel like you have to act a certain way.
Finally, I’ve got to that point that the naysayers can say whatever they want to say. I am going to be myself and I am going to be myself. Walk a mile in my footsteps then tell me how I feel living with chronic pain.

Do you feel like you have to meet people’s expectations or feel like you’re on stage?

photo credit: Clarita

Serenity Prayer

“God Grant Me The Serenity to Accept the Things I cannot change

And change the things I can.”

~~~~~~AMEN~~~~~~~

” By Karl Paul Reinhold Niebuhr”

One thing I cannot change is my illness, but I can change how I react to my    illness. For the last two weeks, I’ve been in a lot of bad pain everyday. It’s been pretty unbearable at times. I’ve found strength in the serenity prayer.

Chronic Illness and Depression

I wasn’t new to depression when I was diagnosed with lupus and fibromyalgia amongst other things. It was a total blow to my plans for life. The lupus totally rocked my world. My life was turned totally upside down by the daily pain I was feeling. I had lost total control of my body and  I couldn’t do  anything about it. I started to spiral out of control. My life became the disease not a part of my life. I looked in the mirror I saw lupus. I woke up I saw lupus. Lupus tore my life apart piece by piece.

It took me several years to find myself and realize that I was more than lupus. I was a human being with a condition. I had to learn to deal with all the ups and downs of lupus. It wasn’t easy, but I had to pull myself together. I’ve learned that planning ahead isn’t a guarantee of being able to do something. I’ve learn sometimes I can walk while other time I have to use my wheelchair. My days vary with my illnesses.

Dealing with the depression isn’t easy for me at all. I’ve learn that I have some control over what the depression does to me. I can tell when I’m spiraling into an abyss of depression. When I see and feel like I’m spiraling out I have to take a step back from life. I’ve learned to do things to bring about happy moments in my life. I’ve learned that sewing relaxes my mind and reading allows me to wander away from reality for a little while. Often I’ve put myself into the stories. The most valuable thing I’ve learned is to express my inner thoughts through my blog and in my many writings.

Yes, the diagnoses have turned me inside out, but I’ve learned to deal with them. I’ve had to adjust my goals in life, even if it’s not exactly what I’m waiting for in life. I try to make the best of things. The pain does overwhelm me at times, but I’ve learned that it will pass and this is what gets me past things.

30 Things About My Illness

1. The illness I live with is: Lupus, Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2001 (not totally sure.)

3. But I had symptoms since: I was a child

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: having to stop working and the constant fatigue

5. Most people assume: I’m not telling the truth

6. The hardest part about mornings is: being so stiff and sore.

7. My favorite medical TV show is: ER and Strong Medicine (hard to choose just one.)

8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: my rice heating pad.

9. The hardest part about nights is: tossing and turning in pain and the silence.

10. Each day I take 12 or more pills & vitamins. (No comments, please)

11. Regarding alternative treatments I: have tried many things, but wish something would help.

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: visible (but, it depends)

13. Regarding working and career: I miss it a lot and wish I could have it back.

14. People would be surprised to know: I’m not as strong as people think.

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: not being the kind of Mom I dreamed of being.

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: don’t know

17. The commercials about my illness: make me cringe, Lyrica over and over….. Like I need reminder of the pain.

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: being able to run errands without loss of energy.

19. It was really hard to have to give up: my memory not being what it used to be.

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: writing

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: visit an amusement park.

22. My illness has taught me: to slow down.

23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: people not acknowledging my sickness and being treated like I’m broken.

24. But I love it when people: listen and try to understand what I’m going through.

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: the serenity prayer.

26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: find out as much as you can about the illness and don’t take doctors word as gospel truth.

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: how frustrating it really is to be in pain day and night.

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: helping me on bad days.

29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I want to speak awareness of chronic illnesses

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: good and glad I could share my story.

Find out more about National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week and the 5-day free virtual conference with 20 speakers Sept 14-18, 2009 at www.invisibleillness.com

Why Not Me?

Finding some peace with your chronic illness is not easy. It took me literally years to come to terms with the pain I deal with day after day. I went through the why me’s and being in plain old denial. It took a while just to look myself in the face as I only saw the illness, not what’s below the surface. I guess it hit me harder because I had so many plans for my life. Recently, I heard something on TV that really got me to thinking about my illness. The man said instead of saying why me, we need to say why not me. And then you need to figure out what you’re going to do with the illness. Ya, it’s easier to roll around in my own misery instead of picking up my boot straps and dealing with the illness. I’m now in the process of putting myself back together after years of depression and denial. This is something hard to share, but if it helps one person to cope with a chronic illness or any other obstacle that comes their way I’ve achieved something. So I’m off to stay away from the Why Me’s, what are you going to do?

First Year of Living with Pain

I can still remember the first year I had fibromyalgia before the lupus was diagnosis I felt like I was losing my mind. It took a long time for my doctor to listen to me that my pain was real and I finally had to beg him to give me something for the pain. I told him it was getting to the point that I could not stand the pain while working and it was interfering with my life. He was apprehensive to give me something at first, but he finally caved and gave me tramadol for my pain. I was able to learn what you should know about tramadol drug online because I wanted to still be able to function at work. I looked up all the side effects and if I would be able to take the medication without falling asleep. When I was on the medication I was not able to buy tramadol blue book . When I was taking it they only had the brand name, but since then they have a generic it’s cheaper and more people can afford to buy the medication on a budget. It was not an easy year to find out I had to deal with this pain every single day of my life. It wasn’t much longer that I learned that I had lupus.

Finding Peace in the Serenity Prayer

I am so happy to be able type like normal now because my wrist is a lot better. It’s been a real struggle getting it better. It has been really hard typing with one hand, especially when you have pain in the wrist joint anyway. I am still wearing an ace bandage on my wrist for support because of the pain, but at least I can use it to type. It’s amazing how you can take for granted the use of your arm. It has made me really appreciate both of my hands. I really do feel for someone that has no use of their arms or legs for that matter. Prior to being sick I can honestly say I had never thought of sickness affecting my life. Lupus has totally turned my life upside down. I went from working in a nursing home as a nursing assistant which was a job I really loved. Actually, I planned on going to school to be a nurse or something else in the medical field. Each day I say the serenity prayer to myself. I like the words in it that say “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change.” It helps me realize that I did not chose lupus and is nothing I can do to make the lupus go away. So I end this with these words “Don’t Ever Take Your Health For granted Because You does not know What Your Missing until Its Gone.”

The Lupus and its Lies

The lupus and its lies.
It is full of so many of them.
It makes a fool of you many times.
You think its hiding and really its just waiting.
Its waiting to attack.
It thinks you’re its target.
You are a target that cannot run.
You have no control over it.
It keeps coming back for more and more.
It not only takes away health.
It haunts you like a bad horror flick
You try to turn on the lights and it does not good.
Its  the monster in the corner waiting to prowl.
You feel out of control because of it.
Its a crazy disease that has no rules.
You don’t know where it will go.
and when it will go.
Its like the worst annoying neighbor you every have.
But it never leaves it just enjoys playing hide and go seek.