April 18th, 2008Is your Chronic Illness Making You a Chronic Complainer?
Most people don’t want to be around a chronic complainer. You know the one that shows up at the family picnic. You see her coming and everyone starts disappearing, but wait you couldn’t get away from dear old Aunt Bertha. So you endure the conversation, wondering when she’ll ever quit whining about Uncle Harold’s snoring and Aunt Beth’s teeth. You sit there for the 30 minutes wondering when you will find your out.
While writing this it got me to thinking, where do I rank on the complainer score sheet? Yeah, it’s hard not to complain when life seems to suck when you’re in a lupus flare, and the pain never seems to end. You wake up and if its not one thing hurting it’s another new symptom.
I’m challenging myself not to complain as much about living with lupus and pain, even if it does suck. After all everyone one around me knows I have lupus. It’s not like you can’t figure out when I’m in pain. I’m not very good at hiding it, although I have tried to hide it. I won’t say that I will not complain about living with lupus by no means.
Here’s my thinking, if I don’t complain as much, maybe I won’t be constantly reminded of how much I hate lupus. Yeah, it’s given me some positives, but the negative ones outweigh the positive ones. (that’s another post-tba)
So I’m going to ask you to try this test:
Find yourself a pen and paper and write down all your complaints for the day.
Look at each one and think how you could possibly reduce the amount of complaining you do in a day. Is the complaint something you could fix? Is the complaint something you have been avoiding doing? (get it done, so you can check it off your list).
So, the next time you complain about something find something that you can compliment. You see the compliment is good for the receiver and for the giver. You both should come out feeling O’ so good.







April 19th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
What a wonderful idea! When people ask me how I am I usually say that I’m doing OK if I’m not doing well. My good friends can usually tell if I’m not feeling well. I’ll only tell if they really want to know. Otherwise “OK” is good for me
April 20th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Thank you for this post. I don’t need to take that test though for I know I am a complainer
too bad…
April 21st, 2008 at 3:58 am
I sometimes am a complainer but I always try not to.. Thanks for this informative post
April 21st, 2008 at 6:16 am
We sometimes cannot avoid to complain esp if we are in pain.. Thanks for the info..
Mind to exchange link?
April 21st, 2008 at 11:43 pm
I am not a complainer , but I am a realist and without complaints some bad things are not made better.
April 22nd, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Diane I agree with you. Without complaints our health issues would merely exist and wouldn’t be helped.
April 22nd, 2008 at 9:02 pm
during my first three years of having a lupus, i always complain of things that i experience. most of the time, i end up crying. that i wanted to give up. and then one day after a heart to heart talk when my then bf now husband he asked me ‘aren’t your tired of complaning ? aren’t you sick of being sick ?’ and then he explains to me that its my choice. being negative would never help me. that was the start of my acceptance.
today, i sometimes complain but i always end up realizing i am still blessed to have this life.
April 23rd, 2008 at 6:01 pm
I try not to complain a lot but I probably do more than my fair share at times. There are days, even months, I will handle being sick very well. Then I guess it all builds up and it will affect me emotionally all at once.
April 24th, 2008 at 6:11 am
Hi passing by from my health blog
April 24th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Hey, good post. I go around on this myself. Medical and otherwise in fact. As for the otherwise, I figure someone (me included) is a complainer when they complain but offer no solution. Worst are when this happens and the person takes no action when a solution is presented. I mean, they don’t even try. That to me is complainer-ville.
As for the medical, well that’s trickier although related. It’s my biggest, worst fear that the people closest to me won’t realize or believe that I do everything I can to try to keep my health and spirits up and that then when I complain about feeling bad or frustrated in those endeavors, I am being a complainer - by my own standards eve) since I would be seen as not doing what I can to make the situation better, or less bad at least.
Regardless, I do have a tendency to tell my b.f. if I’m feeling like crap - I don’t want him to interpret terseness, distance, or excessive responses as moodiness/crankiness due to anything other than my physical state. I tend to put it exactly that way, well with more colloquialism (”babe I feel like s***t right now - I just got super fatigue whacked, so if I’m acting off it’s just that”). I see that as informative.
April 26th, 2008 at 6:12 am
Just dropping some lines to say Hi..Have a nice weekend
April 27th, 2008 at 11:18 am
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April 29th, 2008 at 6:28 am
Thank you for this post. I know I’m a complainer, but I try to monitor who I complain to. My cat gets an earful every day!
May 30th, 2008 at 10:32 am
Hi. Great post. Reminds me of a challenge that a pastor down in the US issued to members of his congregation - that is to try to not complain for 20 days straight. If you found yourself complaining, you’d have to start over. Quite a challenge, but most of those who participated learned a lot during this process and felt better for doing so. The film “What the bleap do we know” give a great explanation on how our emotions affect our bodies. Cheers!
June 18th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
So I was trying to make a comment and it ended up being an entire blog post on my blog, you can read it here…
http://www.getright.org/blog/2008/06/help-or-complaining-about-life-vs.html