Finding Peace with a Chronic Illness

March 18th, 2009

Why do I blog? To Share my Life of living with lupus to spread awareness.

Finding out I had Lupus was very overwhelming to me. It was bad enough going through a divorce, but this on top of everything else. I really felt like I just wanted to die and I started living my life by just going through the motions. I simply wanted to my life to be over. It was not easy for me to deal with the pain and fatigue amongst other things. I was planning on going to college for something in the medical field and well I felt like I had simply been shot down. When I was first symptomatic I was in complete denial because I did not know what my body was doing and how I was going to cope with the chronic pain. The hardest thing about the illness was the pain I felt everyday that did not end. I got up with the pain and went to bed with the pain. I simply did not know how to stop the pain and tried to run away from it. I complained to my doctor and it was like pulling teeth to get him to give me something for pain. I hated taking any kind of medication at all so this went totally against any of my beliefs. He did finally give me a medication called Ultracet which is a combination of Ultram and Tylenol. It worked for a short period of time, but the pain just simply fought against the medication. Here I was in the prime of my life and I was living someone else’s nightmare of living in constant pain day after day. I asked myself “Why Me” and I still have not got the answer to that question. Later, I started having extremely bad pain in my legs to the point that I felt like someone was torturing me with hot pokers. Once again, I wanted to crawl in a closet and die. So many doctors down played the pain in my legs and I thought that I was going to go out of my mind. After four years, I was finally diagnosed with peripheral neuropathy it was a relief to a certain degree. I finally had validation that I was not crazy like many doctors were saying. I can still feel the relief deep within my soul. It was then that I finally accepted for the most part my sickness. I still have my moments of depression, and anger, but I’ve learned to look for the positive things in my life. A simple smile and puppy dog kisses are worth a million dollars to me. You never really appreciate the small things until you have your life turned upside down from a chronic illness. I have said to a lot of people appreciate your health because you never know when the rug of health will be pulled out from underneath your feet.

I am submitting this as part of

Blog and Win at Lainy’s Blogoversary Celebration

KUERDAS | Our Journey to Forever | The Certified Fashionable Chic | Lainy’s Musings

Filed under Life, Life with Lupus | Comments (14)

14 Responses to “Finding Peace with a Chronic Illness”

Lainy on March 18, 2009 5:24 pm
CCT,

Thanks for the submission. You are the official third valid entry and is entitled of a few EC credits as a reward.

Goodluck!
star on March 20, 2009 9:45 am
Hello Friend, tearing my eyes when I read your post, please be strong and pray always. I am offering my hand to be one of your friend. Thanks and God bless you always.
fedhz on March 25, 2009 4:40 pm
I don’t have tolerance for pain. I can’t imagine how painful you are feeling. My heart is crying while reading this.

You’re a very positive person and I’ve found strength from that. thanks!
chronicchick on March 25, 2009 11:08 pm
Fedhz,

Thanks for your kind words. I’m glad I’ve given your strength. It means a lot to me. I started this blog to spread awareness and to help others.

Chronic Chick
Mys on March 26, 2009 8:49 am
you are inspiring and i believe that you achieve your purpose when you blog.
zorlone on March 30, 2009 10:57 am
I understand why your blog is named chronic chick, well, I’m just guessing. The chronic pain you felt from your condition of constant pain. Peripheral neuropathy is a difficult disease to have. It’s like having arthritis but at a much earlier age. The medications have several side effects plus they are expensive.
This is a good post. Good luck with the contest!

Z
chronicchick on March 30, 2009 12:06 pm
Thanks for your well wishes everyone. Some days its very difficult to stay positive. I try, but other days its all I can do to make it through the day.

Thanks,

Chronic Chick
Bill on March 31, 2009 3:52 pm
Hi i came here through Lainy’s site. You are a very courages women. Many people could not go through what you have described. You are a very special lady and i pray the God will protect and provide for you in the coming days. I am very glad i stopped by here. Have a great day.
Twinks on April 4, 2009 7:59 pm
Hi,
Lainy’s contest brought me here.
I feel your pain whilst reading your post.
Be strong and always pray to God.
I hope you’re feeling better. I admire your strength. Having to go through pain is not an easy thing. You’re a survivor.
Goodluck! Have a great sunday ^_^
chronicchick on April 5, 2009 1:41 am
Thanks for your kind words. Its nice to read. A survivor of this stuff is not easy. The emotional ups and down well are tough.

Chronic Chick
Honey on April 17, 2009 10:45 am
Hi! I chanced upon your blog through http://aspasiaspeaks.com/?p=32. As I was reading your post, I couldn’t stop myself from feeling so sad… I just want you to know that you are not alone… I, too, face a serious health problem. I’m still 21 and I was diagnosed with cancer last november of 2008. I have been undergoing chemotherapy for five months now… I know what it feels like… I can feel your pain friend… I believe you have my blogsite, mail me if you need someone to talk to… I’m also having a hard time dealing with this and I definitely have no one to share my pain with… I’ll be praying for us… God bless you always…
chronicchick on April 17, 2009 2:20 pm
Honey,
God bless you. Stay strong you have God on your side. The pain from chronic illness is very overwhelming at times. I’ll say some prayers for you.

Chronic Chick
Honey on April 17, 2009 10:45 pm
Thank you so much…
chronicchick on April 18, 2009 1:40 am
Honey,
Your very welcome.
Chronic Chick