Rest In Peace Michael Jackson

Micheal Jackson was pronounced dead at the UCLA hospital yesterday from a heart attack. It’s a sad day in America for all of his fans and  most of all his family. Many people may not know that he had Lupus according to what I’ve read in the past. It makes me wonder if the cardiac arrest was related to the Lupus. Then the talk of him  abusing drugs is very sad. Chances are if he was abusing drugs it may have been from the pain associated with lupus. Anyone in chronic pain understands just how unbearable it can be to be in pain everyday  of your life.Sometimes it’s hard to control the pain. My condolence to the family. It’s so obvious he is loved. RIP the “King of Pop” Michael Jackson. You are loved all over the world and you legacy will live on.

Why Not Me?

Finding some peace with your chronic illness is not easy. It took me literally years to come to terms with the pain I deal with day after day. I went through the why me’s and being in plain old denial. It took a while just to look myself in the face as I only saw the illness, not what’s below the surface. I guess it hit me harder because I had so many plans for my life. Recently, I heard something on TV that really got me to thinking about my illness. The man said instead of saying why me, we need to say why not me. And then you need to figure out what you’re going to do with the illness. Ya, it’s easier to roll around in my own misery instead of picking up my boot straps and dealing with the illness. I’m now in the process of putting myself back together after years of depression and denial. This is something hard to share, but if it helps one person to cope with a chronic illness or any other obstacle that comes their way I’ve achieved something. So I’m off to stay away from the Why Me’s, what are you going to do?

Copper Bracelet Anyone?

This week I bought a copper bracelet. I’ve been wanting to purchase one for a while. I bought one from my local CVS. I’ve heard that they may help with pain relief. My thoughts are anything is worth trying to relief the pain I live with everyday of my life. The bracelet only cost me $5.99 so it was a reasonable price.
Have you tried a Copper Bracelet and did it help?

I Love My Heat Relaxer

Recently, I purchased a rice pack from a To Live Beautiful Etsy Store with some of my Entrecard credits. I was thrilled that this seller decided to sell them on the Entrecard Market. I purchased it and I was thrilled to receive the rice heat pack. I’ve been looking for something like this for my aches and pains that’s was portable. I can easily heat the rice pack in the microwave for 2-3 minutes and then I have a nice moist heat pack for me to sooth my muscles. I really like the fact that I don’t have to stay attached to a cord for the heat to work. I can wheel around in my wheelchair or put it behind me at the kitchen table without having to worry about anyone tripping on the cord. I was really impressed with the quality of this product. Jessica was a great seller to deal with during the transaction. She communicated with me when the item was shipped and how long it would take to reach me. When I received the rice pack it was packed nicely with a piece of raffia yarn around it and some simple instructions on how to use the heat pack. The heat pack has an outside cover made of fleece and inside is the rice pack which is divided into different sections so it lies evenly on your neck. The rice does not pool into one side or the other of the rice pack. It’s made of high quality material and the stitches are sewn closely so no rice falls out. I would purchase another one of these from this seller anytime. I wish she had them in different sizes for different areas of the body. Thank You Jessica for a great product and keep sewing. Be sure to check out all of the different colors and styles she has to offer anyone with aches and pains.

Here’s a picture of the actual Heat Relaxer I purchased. They are priced at only $14.99 right now in her store.

I know its a small pic, I’ve been having issues with my visual part of the admin panel working for a while just haven’t had the energy to find out what’s wrong with it.

Finding Peace with a Chronic Illness

Why do I blog? To Share my Life of living with lupus to spread awareness.

Finding out I had Lupus was very overwhelming to me. It was bad enough going through a divorce, but this on top of everything else. I really felt like I just wanted to die and I started living my life by just going through the motions. I simply wanted to my life to be over. It was not easy for me to deal with the pain and fatigue amongst other things. I was planning on going to college for something in the medical field and well I felt like I had simply been shot down. When I was first symptomatic I was in complete denial because I did not know what my body was doing and how I was going to cope with the chronic pain. The hardest thing about the illness was the pain I felt everyday that did not end. I got up with the pain and went to bed with the pain. I simply did not know how to stop the pain and tried to run away from it. I complained to my doctor and it was like pulling teeth to get him to give me something for pain. I hated taking any kind of medication at all so this went totally against any of my beliefs. He did finally give me a medication called Ultracet which is a combination of Ultram and Tylenol. It worked for a short period of time, but the pain just simply fought against the medication. Here I was in the prime of my life and I was living someone else’s nightmare of living in constant pain day after day. I asked myself “Why Me” and I still have not got the answer to that question. Later, I started having extremely bad pain in my legs to the point that I felt like someone was torturing me with hot pokers. Once again, I wanted to crawl in a closet and die. So many doctors down played the pain in my legs and I thought that I was going to go out of my mind. After four years, I was finally diagnosed with peripheral neuropathy it was a relief to a certain degree. I finally had validation that I was not crazy like many doctors were saying. I can still feel the relief deep within my soul. It was then that I finally accepted for the most part my sickness. I still have my moments of depression, and anger, but I’ve learned to look for the positive things in my life. A simple smile and puppy dog kisses are worth a million dollars to me. You never really appreciate the small things until you have your life turned upside down from a chronic illness. I have said to a lot of people appreciate your health because you never know when the rug of health will be pulled out from underneath your feet.

I am submitting this as part of

I Hate Writers Block

I don’t seem to be able to find the words I need to write today. I seem to be having some kind of writers block and this is not fun. I hope it don’t last long because I love to write. Writing has giving me a way to release everything while dealing with lupus and life in general. In many ways it’s been my way out. It helps me leave the disease behind for a few moments I guess it just one of those days when I just can not write many words. I Just Hate Writers Block especially when it’s Your Own Therapy. Well I can only hope it passes soon. Some of it’s probably my pure exhaustion of living with lupus and chronic fatigue. I hate having very little energy.

Finding Peace in the Serenity Prayer

I am so happy to be able type like normal now because my wrist is a lot better. It’s been a real struggle getting it better. It has been really hard typing with one hand, especially when you have pain in the wrist joint anyway. I am still wearing an ace bandage on my wrist for support because of the pain, but at least I can use it to type. It’s amazing how you can take for granted the use of your arm. It has made me really appreciate both of my hands. I really do feel for someone that has no use of their arms or legs for that matter. Prior to being sick I can honestly say I had never thought of sickness affecting my life. Lupus has totally turned my life upside down. I went from working in a nursing home as a nursing assistant which was a job I really loved. Actually, I planned on going to school to be a nurse or something else in the medical field. Each day I say the serenity prayer to myself. I like the words in it that say “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change.” It helps me realize that I did not chose lupus and is nothing I can do to make the lupus go away. So I end this with these words “Don’t Ever Take Your Health For granted Because You does not know What Your Missing until Its Gone.”

My Poor Wrist Still Hurts

Its been a trying few days dealing with my wrist. Its still hurt from the fall. I move it a certain way and it hurts so bad. Worst yet my thumb is involved in the injury. I hope it heals soon. I hate pecking the keys on the computer. Its very annoying. I hate falling an it seems to be my new hobby. Geez I just can not win.