Lupus, Lupus Runaway

Lupus, Lupus Runaway

Leave me the hell alone

Take the pain with you when you leave

You seem to think you have an open door

But no one asked you to come and visit me

My family didn’t ask you to come

You wouldn’t hurt my feeling if you left

What more can I say leave me the hell alone

No one wants you

Why would you want to stay around when you’re not wanted by me or mine?

Lupus, Lupus Runaway

Life is Like a Rollercoaster

Life is like a roller coaster
You never know when your up
Or when your down

It’s hard to hold on sometimes
Other times you’re climbing a cliff
At times, it seems that cliff never ends

The times your spinning are the hardest
Those times it feel like things never end
The more you try the more you spin
Those times you feel like your out of control

The times when things are going along straight
Things going along straight don’t seem real
Your waiting for the floor to fall out from under you

Then the times you feel like their is no way out
Those are the times you want to run
But your feet just don’t move
It’s like your feet are stuck in cement

When the rollercoaster stops
You want it to move
But it just stays in one place
No matter how hard you try

Where is your rollercoaster rolling?

Precious Things In Life

The lessons I’ve learned in life:
I’ve learned to appreciate the small things in life.
The most precious gifts are the ones that don’t cost a cent.
The expensive gifts soon become a part of the distant past

The most precious gift :
The love of my daughter
The love of a daughter doesn’t cost one red cent to me.
It’s the kind of love a mother never forgets

The small things I’ve learned to love are:
Flowers growing in my small, but mighty garden
The sounds of birds laying a nest on my awning
Hummingbirds drinking sugar water from my bird feeder
Dogs chasing each other through the house.
My male dog sneaking up on the female dog to tell her off
My family that loves me uncondtionally

What I’m thankful for the most:
Having life and being able to breathe even on those days I’m in so much pain.
On those days I have to remind myself it’ll pass and repeat the sernity prayer.

For Caylee with Love

Little Girl Little Girl
You have touched millions
Your an angel now
Sent from heaven
And left so quick
Because God gave you wings
Your loved ones are sad
But God has a plan
We watched the sweet words you sang
That touched hearts forever
You will never be forgotten
Because God has a plan
He will hold your family tight
As it says in the footprints poem
You will always be in your famlies hearts forever
And You forever changed the world
May you Rest In Peace “Caylee Marie Anthony”

The Spirit of a Butterfly

I do believe in butterflies.
They have such a free spirit.
Traveling from one place to another.
I love the sight of them.
They help me imagine a life without lupus.
I pray to God each day to take the it away
Somedays I can see the gifts lupus gave me.
But other days I cannot see any of them.
The freedom of a butterfly is something I admire.
They are admired by many and help the world go around.
Seeing them reminds me to see the beauty of things.
The earth, the sky, the snow and the cloud.
They are all gifts from God and things I admire.

Finding Some Inner Peace

Finding my inner peace inside me.
Its something I am searching for.
I have asked myself a lot of  questions about life.
One of the biggest questions is “Why do I have lupus”?
I proably will never have the answer for myself
I have to trust God that Lupus has its purpose.
I have asked this  question millions of time.
Nothing will ever stop me asking why I have lupus.
I have many times  missed my life without lupus.
Its not something that I like admitting to myself.
Sometimes its easier to admit defeat then fight.
I’ve decided myself that I will fight all the things that lupus has done to me.
Lupus won’t win, so I am going to continue to fight back.
So I will stomp on lupus for my life.

My Pain is Real

My pain is real

Its as real as I can feel it.

It affects me inside and out.

Each day I have to live with it.

Its so real inside me.

I don’t wish it on anyone

I have learned to live with it.

Day after Day.

Month after month

Year after year.

Its not been by choice.

I did not ask for it.

Sometimes it angers me.

Other times it grounds me.

It makes me appreciate the small things in life.

Other times it makes me sad.

Its something I don’t wish on anyone.

Its hard to explain to someone appreciate what you have.

Not living with it you cannot understand.

The only thing I can say is I miss the life without pain.

Now, those momments of no pain I wonder where it is.

Its crazy to feel this way, but I do.

My pain is real and so is my feelings from it.

Feeling the pain day after day is like a long lesson in life.

Appreciate the small things in life.

A smile brings joy to my heart each day.

Struggles of a Week Poem

Its hard to believe another week has passed

We all get older each and every second of the day

A week has passed and what have your accomplished?

I can say this week I have accomplished a thing or two.

Its not been an easy week with struggles with illness.

And struggles with a beautiful daughter I chose to home school.

Its been strugles with life and struggles with pets.

But I’m thankful for these struggles right now.

Because I have life.

So today think about all your struggles as a blessing rather then a curse.

Some Days they feel like a curse, but at this moment I welcome them.

Thanks for stopping by and I send you a………………

The Lupus and its Lies

The lupus and its lies.
It is full of so many of them.
It makes a fool of you many times.
You think its hiding and really its just waiting.
Its waiting to attack.
It thinks you’re its target.
You are a target that cannot run.
You have no control over it.
It keeps coming back for more and more.
It not only takes away health.
It haunts you like a bad horror flick
You try to turn on the lights and it does not good.
Its  the monster in the corner waiting to prowl.
You feel out of control because of it.
Its a crazy disease that has no rules.
You don’t know where it will go.
and when it will go.
Its like the worst annoying neighbor you every have.
But it never leaves it just enjoys playing hide and go seek.

The Pain within Me is Real

My pain is real as I feel it each day.

Its as real as I breathe.

Each day I struggle with it each day.

And the worst part is others see me struggle with it.

Some days are easier then others.

Pain does not give you a choice.

Its something I live with.

Its become a part of who I am.

It does not discriminate.

I did not ask for this pain.

But it is real as I can feel.

The pain is never gone because it lives within me

I try to stay strong about it.

But its not easy to do.

I do not wish it on anyone.

My pain is real and not an illusion.

Many chose to deny it.

I have to remember that I do not have to prove it.

I know what I feel and its a deep pain from within

Many live with the same pain.

And I pray they will be free of it.

Because no one should live in pain.