Are You on Stage with You’re Chronic Illness?

By Chronic Chick

Do you feel like you’re on stage while living with your chronic illness? I feel that way a lot because people don’t understand that my strength and abilities go up and down hourly. One day I may be able to clean the house and the next day I’m lucky to be able to get out of bed. It plain sucks, but it’s my life. I’ve lived with it nearly a decade so it has become the norm for me.
Since I’ve lived with lupus and fibromyalgia some days I’m in my wheelchair and other days I’m able to walk around. I used to feel very subconscious knowing what people were saying and thinking about me. I heard- I was faking how much pain I was in or she doesn’t look sick, or it cannot be that bad. I could go on about the snide remarks.

All of these nasty comments made me feel like I needed to act a certain way. And it stinks how other people’s thoughts make you feel like you have to act a certain way.
Finally, I’ve got to that point that the naysayers can say whatever they want to say. I am going to be myself and I am going to be myself. Walk a mile in my footsteps then tell me how I feel living with chronic pain.

Do you feel like you have to meet people’s expectations or feel like you’re on stage?

photo credit: Clarita

Improving your Self Esteem

A lot of people with chronic illnesses have issues with their self esteem. You feel like your worthless and no one would want you. Your whole outlook on life totally changes when your body doesn’t act the same way it use to work. I know my feeling of self worth went down thanks to living with lupus. Part of the reason my self worth went down is because I put on about twenty pounds from the medications and inactivity from the pain. It does something to someone when they are diagnosed with a chronic illness. You forget that there is more to you then your chronic illness. I know myself in a lot of ways I have let myself go a lot. I am in the process of trying to improve my self worth and self esteem so I bought some Rembrandt teeth whitener and some red lipstick. I am working on getting my teeth whiter first and gave myself the red lipstick as a gift. A white smile looks better with white teeth then yellow teeth. It’s amazing how quick getting your teeth white helps your self esteem and self worth. It makes it easier to look in the mirror while getting ready in the morning. It makes you feel more human inside and out. This

Trying to Find a Cordless Heating Pad

I am having a lot of pain in my back lately. Its really annoying having to be hooked to a heating pad to get some relief. I am wanting to get a heating pad I can use without being attached to the wall. I’ve tried using rice and it don’t seem to keep the heat long enough. I have seen so many, but I don’t which one to chose. I need something that’s reusable. Those ones on TV are temporary and it would cost me a fortune to buy them all the times. I am really stumped about this.
Has anyone had any experience with cordless heating pad?

Happy Midweek to Everyone Smile

Hope everyone is doing well this Wednesday. I hope all my chronic illness friends are having a flare free week on this midweek day. I wish a happy week to all my friends who don’t have a chronic illness too… If your feeling down and out I send you a bunch of smiles because everyone needs a smile everyday. A smile can make everyone’s day so please send some some  :)  :)  :)

Struggling to Find the Postives of Living with Lupus

When I was in school, I despised writing or reading for that matter. Writing has become my release since being sick. I can express my thought and feelings on living with a chronic illness. It also helps me be an active advocate for lupus, chronic pain, and fibromyalgia. Its become an important therapy about living with all these chronic illness. Its been my way of making a positive out of a negative. For years I went through periods of being mad at the world because I was sick. I blamed myself and asked over and over “why me”. Its not been easy because I’m not happy what lupus has done to my life. I have periods of not being able to find simple words. I’ve called people crazy names and on a regular basis I call my daughter a cow. Its related to the stroke I had thanks to lupus. If it was not for lupus I probably wouldn’t have found my love of reading and writing. I read almost anything I can get my hands on. I tell my daughter that wisdom comes from knowledge. She’s yet to find my love of writing or reading. But slowly she’s seeing that reading isn’t that bad after all. I share my words with others to say that life after lupus can have some positives even if you do struggle each and every day from the pain and suffering. I live with the thoughts of I’m not going to be a victim of lupus, but a survivor of living with lupus.

Daily Dealings with Teenager While Dealing with Lupus

It feels like each day last forever. I have been dealing with issues with my daughter. She’s got ADHD and has a hard time accepting that she’s going to grow up. She wants to stay that little girl. I have to admit many times I feel the same way, but I do want to see her grow up and be sucessful young lady. She has plans to go to college,just not sure what she wants to do. She is a great animal lover. Today she was down on herself real bad, but it changed when she went to tae kwon do. She got 2 strips on her belt which means she needs one more stripe until she can test out for her next belt. She has her ups and downs. Being a teen is difficult enough without all your emotions in an uproar.

Kids whose parents have chronic illness have so much to deal with. I know my daughter gets upset that mom don’t have the energy other parents have. It makes it difficult to deal with each day seeing disappoinment. She loves to run and especially shopping and the singer Avril Lavigne. I try to make up for things with her. I try to stay attune to her emotions but, at times its difficult. When you have a chronic illness our kids often miss out on somethings, but most of use make up with somethings else.

Introducing Ask Ms Recipe

I want to introduce a new blog to you Ask Ms Recipe all. It’s a recipe blog by chronic illness survivor. I say survivor for many reasons because I refuse to be a victim of lupus. I consider myself a survivor of this illness, even thought there are times I feel like a victim. This blogger is special to my heart so I thought I would share her food blog with you all cause after most us chronic illness survivors have to eat. Hope you enjoy blog soon to be full of lots of good eats. She’s a new kind of food blogger because she’s offering to answer some questions about food and share her many talented recipes along the way. So Enjoy, and eat your heart out.

Pictures of my Garden

Here is some pictures of my garden, that my daughter took. The tomatoes are outgrowing the green peppers. The cucumbers have just started to grow. Its pretty amazing how each one of  these grow at their own pace. Its something I enjoy doing even while I live with lupus. I may not be able to physcially do all the work to make the beautiful container garden, but I’m blessed to have the help I do have. I’ve got some more pictures I will show later of the world’s slowest growing flower. , atleast in my garden.

A little Bit of An Update

This week has been interesting for many ways. My daughter starts a new tae kwon do class on Thursday; the new place seems to have more to offer her. They have a patch program a lot like girl scouts and more girls her age. She’s been doing tae kwon do for a little over 1 year. She’s still an orange belt and will be able to test out in 8 weeks. She’s got a new tae kwon do uniform that ties like a chef outfit, instead of pulling over her head. It’s hard to believe that summer is half way through.

My garden is coming along. I keep forgetting to get some pictures- (reminder to self get pictures). We had to transplant the tomatoes to a bigger pot because they were root bound. They now look a lot better in their new beautiful pots. My cucumber is busy climbing up the railing of the porch and looks good with its beautiful yellow flowers and creeping out like crazy. The green peppers are producing some beautiful big peppers. The red ones haven’t turned red yet. The tomatoes are still small and green, can’t wait to taste one.

I seem to be in a lupus flare, again! It seems to knock me on my butt real well. I can be feeling pretty good and wham it knocks me out. I’m trying to conserve my energy. I hate feeling this way… I want my “normal” life back

This Week Has Been A Whirlwind

This past week seems like a whirlwind. Last weekend my daughter received her orange belt in tae kwon do. It was neat seeing all the different belts do steps to receive the next belt. She got an award for being the most improved in her school. This has been a lot of hard work for her. She’s been working for 7 months for this particular belt. She has her days she likes the tae kwon do and other days she cares less.

The weather has been crazy between the earthquake tremors and the temperatures falling back out. I will be glad when it stays at one temperature. We’ve been walking/wheeling mason my Maltese Poodle, to reduce his weight. The vet says he needs to loose some weight. It’s a struggle to take some of his weight off. He loves to eat. My daughter’s been walking him a couple times a day. We have to start out slow with him because of arthritis in his hips from a birthing injury or the mother attacking him. He was near dead when we bought him from a pet shop. We saved his life. Mason loves to bark, so were trying to curve the barking. He is a high strung half poodle. Darcy my other dog is doing well, she’s a high strung Shih Tzu, but she doesn’t bark as much.

I think this week has been pretty productive. It may be just me, but I think removing those energy saving bulbs has helped. I do still have the pain from living with the lupus and fibromylagia, but I am feeling a bit better.